Question

假設(shè)你是李華，在一個(gè)禮品網(wǎng)站為你的姐姐訂購(gòu)了一份生日禮物。禮物是一個(gè)標(biāo)有姓名、生日及祝福語(yǔ)的有卡通動(dòng)物形象的粉色杯子。收到禮物后你和姐姐都很滿意。請(qǐng)給你的英國(guó)筆友Johnson寫(xiě)一封郵件，內(nèi)容包括以下要點(diǎn)：
1. 描述網(wǎng)購(gòu)的禮物；
2. 介紹網(wǎng)上支付及配送情況；
3. 談?wù)勀銓?duì)網(wǎng)上購(gòu)物的看法。
注意：1. 不少于100詞；開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)；
2. 可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫；
3. 支付寶安全控件Alipay Security Control

Answer 1

Dear Johnson,
I ordered a birthday gift for my sister on the Internet three days ago. It is a beautiful pink cup decorated with my sister’s name, her date of birth, and some best wishes to her as well. It’s so lovely a cup with a picture of a cartoon dog on it that both my sister and I like it at the first sight.
Besides, I am very satisfied with Alipay Security Control, which is very convenient and safe. And so is the delivery service. I have received the cup within two days. Don’t you think it’s very fast?
I have enjoyed shopping online very much through this experience. There is no doubt that more and more people prefer shopping online nowadays. We don’t have to spend much time going to the shops or markets with such a good variety of choices on the Internet. Agree with me?
I’m looking forward to your early reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua

解析試題分析：本文的寫(xiě)作重在理順?biāo)鶎?xiě)內(nèi)容的編排，可以采用三段式的文體。首先對(duì)我前幾日所購(gòu)買(mǎi)的生日禮物進(jìn)行描述，簡(jiǎn)單描寫(xiě)一下它的外形及裝飾（decorate）；進(jìn)而對(duì)網(wǎng)上購(gòu)物的支付和配送服務(wù)進(jìn)行介紹，表達(dá)自己對(duì)支付寶這種支付方式非常滿意和放心；最后，發(fā)表自己對(duì)網(wǎng)上購(gòu)物的看法，可以從越來(lái)越多的人們都進(jìn)行網(wǎng)上購(gòu)物并且它非常的安全方便方面進(jìn)行介紹。寫(xiě)作過(guò)程中注意語(yǔ)言的親切，注意互動(dòng)，因?yàn)檫@屬于書(shū)信類(lèi)文體，可適當(dāng)使用疑問(wèn)句來(lái)增加親切感。
考點(diǎn)：提綱類(lèi)寫(xiě)作
點(diǎn)評(píng)：本文的寫(xiě)作用注意對(duì)不會(huì)的表達(dá)進(jìn)行替換，同時(shí)注意避免使用中式英文和硬譯。對(duì)于高中作文的寫(xiě)作要注意多使用被動(dòng)，倒裝、虛擬來(lái)提升作文的美度。在平時(shí)寫(xiě)作時(shí)應(yīng)該多進(jìn)行閱讀，對(duì)閱讀過(guò)程中寫(xiě)的好的表達(dá)要進(jìn)行積累，并且學(xué)以致用，勤積累，多背誦，這樣才能作文才能穩(wěn)步的提升。