Question

If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. But how you say it can be quite tricky.
If you say to your children "I'm sorry I got angry with you, but...", what follows that "but" can make the apology ineffective:"I had a bad day" or "your noise was giving me a headache" leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology.
Another means by which peaple appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say "I'm sorry you're upset"; this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.
Then there is the general, all-covering apology, which avoids the necessity of identifying a specific act that is particularly hurtful or insulting, and which the person who is apologizing should promise never to do again. Saying "I'm useless as a parent" does not commit a person to any specific improvement.
These pseudo-apologies(假道歉) are used by people who believe saying sorry shows weakness. Parents who wish to teach their children to apologize should see it as a sign of strength, and therefore not take these pseudo-apologies.
But even when presented with examples of real apology, childfen still need help to become aware of the complexities of saying sorry.  A three-year-old might need help in un- derstanding that other children feel pain just as he does, and that hitting a playmate over the head with a heavy toy requires an apology. A six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling other children's expectations can require an apology. A 12-year-old might need to be shown that destroying the biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, but that
borrowing a parent's clothes without permission is not.
【小題1】If a mother adds "but" to an apology, ________.

A．the child may find the apology easier to accept

B．the child may feel that he owes her an apology

C． she promises never to do it again

D．she does not realize that the child has been hurt

【小題2】According to the author, saying "I am sorry you are upset" most probably means “_______”

A．You have good reason to get upset

B．I apologize for hurting your feelings

C．I am at fault for making you upset

D．I am aware you are upset, but I am not to blame

【小題3】It is not advisable to use the general, all-covering apology because _______.

A． it is not clear and ineffective

B． it is hurtful and insulting

C． it may make the other person feel faulty

D．it gets one into the habit of making empty promises .

【小題4】We learn from the last paragraph that in teaching children to say sorry_______

A．the complexities involved should be ignored

B．parents need to set them a good example

C．their ages should be taken into account

D．parents should be patient and tolerant

【小題5】It can be inferred from the passage that apologizing properly is________.

A．a sign of social,progress

B．not as simple as it seems

C．not necessary among family members.

D．a social issue calling for immediate attention

Answer 1

【小題1】B
【小題2】D
【小題3】A
【小題4】C
【小題5】B

解析試題分析：本文是告誡父母們如何教導孩子向人道歉，父母應該如何言傳身教，在需要的時候真誠地向孩子道歉，從而起到榜樣作用。最后一段講述父母們應該使孩子們明白在何種情境下需要道歉。
【小題1】細節理解題。根據第二段首先指出在道歉之后說 but的直接結果：what follows that “but” can render the apology ineffective，but后面的話可能會使道歉無法產生效果。而后作者對出現這一結果的原因做了解釋，以“我今天過得不好”、“你吵鬧的聲音讓我頭 疼”這二句為例，說明這些話會讓孩子認為“he should be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology”，意思是他也應該為引來父母的道歉而表示道歉。故選 B
【小題2】細節理解題。根據第三段第一句舉出“表面道歉實際沒有道歉”的另一個例子，即I’m sorry you’re upset。第二句分析了這句話暗含的意思。前半句you are somehow at fault for基本呈現出了主謂賓結構，“你是有錯的，因為……”for后面是“你也有錯”的原因。原因是Allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done，直譯過來是“允許你自己變得煩惱，被其他人的所作所為”，與全句聯系起來的意思是“因為別人做了某事，你就變得煩惱，對此你自己是有責任的”，言下之意是換個人面對這種事就不會煩惱，你煩惱只能是你的錯。故選D。
【小題3】細節理解題。根據第四段可知道歉過于空泛，使人不知道該在哪里改進，也就談不上改進。故選A。
【小題4】細節理解題。根據childfen still need help to become aware of the complexities of saying sorry. 如何告訴孩子識別應當道歉的情境，以三個年齡的孩子為例進行論述，這就說明應當把年齡問題加以考慮，故選C。
【小題5】推理判斷題。根據一開始指出父母向孩子道歉時應該講究技巧，所用的詞是tricky，而后用了數段具體講述應當如何講究技巧，可見適宜的道歉方式并不簡單。而父母們往往做不好這一點，即是因為它看似簡單，故選B。
考點：人生百味類短文閱讀。
點評：推理判斷題需要考生正確的閱讀短文對語篇有個整體的把握。會根據語句之間的邏輯關系、段內的語義關系及篇章的語義關系，從段落、篇章的角度理解文章的主旨、作者的觀點和態度。做此類試題要善于抓住某一段話中的關鍵信息，即某些關鍵詞或短語去分析、推理、判斷，利用逆向思維或正面推理，從而推斷出這句話所隱含的深層含義。